I’ve decided to try something new on the blog today: I’m joining Amanda’s linkup for Thinking Out Loud. I’ve been thinking silently for too long; time to set those thoughts free!
In my recap of the last few weeks’ training, I was pretty frank with my emotions about how training has been going, and I really appreciated your encouraging comments.
My feelings then shifted to guilt. Why should anyone feel sorry for me? I’m training for a marathon, albeit not without challenges, IN PARIS. That’s such a privilege and I’m grateful for it.
So today, I’m thinking out loud about plans and perspective.
Happiness is the difference between expectations and reality (or is it?)
A friend who went to the University of Georgia said this to me to explain why UGA football fans are disappointed with (and fire their coach after) a 10-win season. It made some sense to me. (But I wouldn’t consider it a truth to live by. We would aim low in everything, right?)
I don’t think anyone signs up for endurance events expecting to get injured. Sure, we know there is a risk of injury, but we probably all think we have the super special formula to stay injury free. We expect to be able to go out, train consistently, and perform our best. Expectations.
I have no idea how I made it through my first marathon training cycle without an injury. Luck is the best guess I can venture. I didn’t know any injury prevention secrets I don’t know now. Dumb luck happens, and all we can do is enjoy it.
In reflecting on this, or any other situation that comes with plans or expectations, I don’t think we should feel guilty if we’re upset that reality doesn’t live up to those expectations. Yes, there are horrible diseases and wars in the world. No, that doesn’t invalidate anyone’s disappointment with having a running injury. But keeping it all in perspective is good practice.
What’s the worst that could happen?
Another friend posed this question to me in my mid-20s when I was
freaking out about contemplating some challenge at work.
No, really, what is the very worst thing that could happen? Would you lose your job? No?
I’m a perfectionist, so this perspective shook me up. But, it wouldn’t be the way I want it! I might not get an excellent performance review!
My friend sat with me and forced me to come up with the very worst-case scenario, then proceeded to help me see how my hugely-stressful-thing really wasn’t worth the anxiety and stress I was giving it. There’s a big difference between taking pride in your work and letting the pursuit of perfection (or aversion to risk) rule your life. I was in the latter category for a long time.
Now whenever I feel myself getting stressed/frustrated/anxious/fearful, I ask myself what’s the worst thing that could happen. And as far as I can tell with Paris, the VERY WORST thing that could happen is I go to a beautiful city with a bum knee and cheer on my friend who’s running a marathon. I’m pretty sure I can cope with that situation.
I’m still spending a lot of time doing everything I can to keep myself on the marathon training wagon, because an even awesome-er scenario of running a marathon in Paris with a friend is still a real possibility.
(I wanted to end this post with a 90s-rapper-style shout out to my fellow perfectionists, but I am way too old and CPAish to get the tone right…it sounded sooooo dorky.)
Anyway, let me know in the comments if you’re someone who struggles with the lofty expectations of perfectionism. Do you have any tips to keep things in perspective?